4 Essentials to Remember When Selecting A Spouse

Yesterday Amber and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. I had no idea the decision I was making back then. Marriage has been far better than I ever could have thought and it has also been more difficult at times than I ever thought. As I've reflected over the past 11 years it has made me incredibly thankful that it has been with Amber. I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else. So as I thought of the things I am thankful for I want to pass on some advice to those of you who are in the process of selecting a spouse or one day would like to be married.

  1. Marry your best friend. The person you marry has to be someone that you enjoy spending time with. My favorite person to do anything with is Amber, hands down. Whether it's a movie, an experience, seeing something new, trying different food or taking a road-trip somewhere the person I want by my side every time is Amber. She is my best friend. I like spending time with her. I want to come home to her every day after work . And as we do more together the deeper our relationship goes. We love to make memories. Marry your best friend.
  2. Marry someone who loves Jesus more than you. I have a firm belief that marriage is one God's primary ways of sanctifying us in this life. What do I mean? I have learned more about faith, forgiveness, love, grace, and my own sinful selfish heart through marriage. I had no idea how selfish I was until a wife came into the picture. When your spouse loves Jesus more than you they will help sharpen your faith and push you closer to Christ. Amber has been an unbelievable example of God's grace to me. She has a passion for Christ. It shows in how she worships, how she parents, how she digs into God's word, and how she loves others. Marry someone who loves Jesus more than you.
  3. Marry someone who believes in you. There will come times in marriage when you question who you are, what's your purpose, what you are called to do. I can honestly say that no one in my life has encouraged me more, supported me, and giving me more pep talks that Amber. She sees more in me than I see in myself. She believes in me and it means the world to me.
  4. Marry someone who is committed to marriage. Amber and I have made a covenant to each other to always work toward sustaining this marriage. I know everyone who gets married feels that way but sadly I am at the age where I have seen my peers get married and marriages come to an end. We don't have a secret formula but we both know two things: 1. Christ must always be the center of this marriage and 2. No matter how hard it gets or how bad of a fight we are in no one throws around the D-word. And by D-word I mean divorce. Sadly that word gets used as ammunition in many marriage fights. Amber and I early on decided we wouldn't even bring the idea into our marriage.

I could keep writing, but these are the first four that immediately jumped into my mind yesterday. These are the reasons I am thankful that I married Amber. She fits all of these and more.

If there are any I might have missed throw them in the comment section.

Before we started dating

Marry someone who is willing to go for a walk in a snowstorm.